Refocusing in the midst of failures
Matagal-tagal na rin akong hindi nakakapag-post. Bakit nga ba? Hmmm…’di ko rin alam. Siguro tinamad lang ako o nawalan ng dahilan para mag-blog. Nevertheless, here I am again, willing to share some experiences in my life this past few weeks.
I would like to start by just giving thanks to our Lord Jesus Christ for everything He has done in my life, especially for never letting me go. As of now, I feel like I’m in crossroads. That a wrong move might end up all the good works God has started to do in my life. But constantly I am reminded by the Holy spirit to refocus my mind to the things worth focusing for: My studies, my family, and most of all, my relationship with Him. It’s all because of Jesus why i’m still standing (parang kanta ‘to ah.). But that’s true, it’s all because of HIM.
Kanina lang I kinda (?) felt that I had done the biggest error of my life. Paano ba naman, naiwan ko sa loob ng sasakyan ng tatay ko yung susi mismo nung sasakyan! Hindi ko talaga alam kung bakit nai-lock ko ‘yun without ever thinking of getting the key. Inabot kami ng halos isang oras para mabuksan yung sasakyan thru manual operation (as in sa pamamagitan ng alambre). Napagsabihan pa tuloy ako ng tatay ko sa sasakyan.
“Ano ba kasing iniisip mo? Bakit di mo man lang binuksan yung bintana?”
“Andami mo kasing iniisip eh. Sabi ko sa’yo mag-focus ka lang sa isang ministry.”
Actually, I already concluded kung bakit ko naisara yung pintuan without pulling off the key:
1) Nag-aalala kasi ako baka ma-carnap yung sasakyan namin. Hindi naman kami nakatira sa private subdivision. That’s why I developed the habit of locking the doors whenever I get off the car.
2) Nag-aalala ako kasi ilang minuto na lang, 6:15 na. Supposedly 6: 00 a.m. dapat kami aalis.
3) 5 hrs. pa lang tulog ko (Ito siguro yung major reason)
I accept it. Kasalanan ko talaga. Iyon yung mga instance na parang gusto ko na lang mag-evaporate sa harap nilang lahat para lang maibsan yung kahihiyan. But I was haunted by one word my Dad told me. “FOCUS”.
Lately I’ve tried to re-focus on a major priority I have right now–Studies. Pero hindi ko alam kung bakit nahalungkat bigla ng tatay ko yung sa ministry.Which made me think, again and again, of which ministry I should focus on. I know that I was called in the Music Ministry. In fact, God already gave me a confirmation. Pero minsan bumabagaabag sa akin yung hatak ng ibang ministries. I mean, hindi ko naman pwedeng pabayaan na lang yung iba. At eto pa, nag co-confirm din si God doon sa mga ministries na iyon. And what’s ironic, thinking of it shouldn’t be my focus nowadays.
These things and more boggle my mind right now. As for the answers, I still need to ask the Lord. But one thing is for sure:
“…but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength…” – Isaiah 40:31
In you, O lord, I put my trust.=)
Siya nga pala, Come and join is in our YOUTH RAGE entitled: “Follow me…as I follow Christ”. Just see the details in the photo below:
At may photo contest din where you can win this shirt on the right. Just go click this: